a visual expression of gratitude

There was a moment a week or so after my mother died in which I realized how much love is around me. It was shocking, not because it was surprising, but because it was so obvious, because it was marked, distinct. It was palpable. It was nameable. I felt safe and secure and honored in the midst of a confusing grief. Pathetically, I’m still mulling over thank you “notes.” I’m terrible with words (or maybe there are no words). But today, I participated in the final expressive arts training of the year. Painting via the accidental/intuitive way we work in the studio I created two pieces simultaneously, and they fed into each other. I named one “Woman grieving.” I named its partner (shown above) “Public Display of Affection.” It is more than an expression of the abundance of friendship and caring that surrounds me: it is the noticing of that abundance.

I completed a free write after painting. I used words like “celebrate” and “parade.” I wrote, “Isn’t this world the most alive it’s ever been?” I wrote about love: “It swells up around you, a crowd gathering, a festival building.” It still falls short. Even the exuberance I can feel in the painting falls short, but thank you. All of you. I’m grateful.