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napowrimo #6

April 6, 2010

This poem attempt uses both the RWP prompt and the Poetic Asides prompt for today. (I am working with Flight of the Witches by Francisco de Goya.)

The first stanza came to me pretty quickly (and, oddly enough, the title). It’s all down hill after that. In fact, the only way I could eek out the remaining stanzas was to play with repetition of the end words (and some other words, as well). I thought about whacking all the stanzas except the first one, but it’s NaPoWriMo and I’m going to be kind to my stanzas, even the terrible ones.

This is the first piece so far this month that gets two thumbs down from me. I know I said I would turn off my editor, and I have for the most part. I mention it because Elizabeth mentioned in my comments that I was making this look easy (love you, man!). What you can’t see in this light are the 99 hamsters — with wheels! — I installed in my frontal lobe on March 31. What you can’t see are the beads of sweat on my forehead. What you can’t see are my fingers clack-a-lack-a-lacking on the keys, especially “delete,” “delete,” “delete” (Macs don’t have “backspace”). What you can’t see are the worry lines being etched into my face as I put forth an icky-icky-icky one for all to see.

OK. That’s a slight exaggeration. Here’s the truth: I had wrinkles before April 1, and I only installed 87 hamster-and-wheel combos. (The rest are on back order.)

..DRAFT /

REMOVED BY THE AUTHOR FOR REVISION.

///

This is one of those images that speaks to me on a level I can’t quite access. It’s been on my mind all day. There is a more modern and abstract response circling the skies way up there in my brain, but it won’t talk to my fingers yet. It’ll have to wait. It’s NaPoWriMo, and I don’t have time to coax it to make a landing. Tally: 6 = 2.5 RWP + 2.5 PAD + 1 Book of Kells.

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4 Comments
  1. April 6, 2010 10:00 pm

    Stupid men! This is an excellent write!
    Pamela

  2. April 6, 2010 10:19 pm

    I am a stupid man, though I like to blame it on my genetic abnormality (a dysfunctional X chromosome in the shape of a Y).

  3. April 7, 2010 12:19 am

    Still lookin’ pretty good to me. 😉 I think all Napowrimo participants need to practice kindness to stanzas and self. I’ve realized I need to be OK with putting out a lot of so-so stuff. But this is an amazing accompaniment to Goya’s painting and I promise, promise, promise it’s a better draft than you think it is. The repetition really strengthens the piece and reminds me of ritual or incantation.

    Also, painting and poem both creeped me out, in a good way.

  4. April 7, 2010 10:40 am

    I like the first stanza best, too, but the poem has got great ideas in it and will be worth revising once the madness is over.

    Good for you for exorcizing the editor. Even if you have to repeat the procedure in days ahead. Stubborn, yes.

    Note: I can’t read your before I’ve written mine for the day. I would be too intimidated otherwise. So I’ll come back to 7, later. 🙂

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