Skip to content

napowrimo 8.2

April 8, 2010

I came back to the writing today because I really wanted to use Jill‘s prompt for Day 8 at Read Write Poem: “unusual love connections.” It asked for five or more unusual metaphors about love/obsession. Only four strange ones came to mind — a slingshot, mashed potatoes, an alligator’s mouth and daylight savings time — so I started there. I ended up staying with the slingshot and the mashed potatoes never made it to the other two (another time!).

This extra poem on Day 8 does not put me ahead in terms of NaPoWriMo. I still have to write every day for the rest of the month. I’ll just end up with 31 poems instead of 30. Rules is rules.

..DRAFT /

REMOVED BY THE AUTHOR FOR REVISION.

///

Tally: 9* = 4.5 RWP + 3.5 PAD + 1 Book of Kells.

*Target now is 31.

Advertisements
15 Comments
  1. April 8, 2010 1:47 pm

    Love it down to “gets in my eye”. Consideration: end it there (?) Or re-work the last three lines (?) I really admire your talent, Carolee! And I’d also value your feedback / critique on any of my work, anytime at http://www.gregoconnell.com. Bring on the mashed potato!

    • April 8, 2010 7:25 pm

      hi, greg! thanks for the feedback. i’m actually thinking about nixing cupid altogether in a revision and starting with the food fight. though i wouldn’t end after “gets in my eye,” i’m considering deleting the rest and taking it somewhere else. in other words, the food fight might be all that survives. 🙂

  2. April 8, 2010 2:15 pm

    “…a grimy, sticky boy
    with a slingshot, hurling clumps
    of mashed potato during dinner.”

    Great work!

  3. April 8, 2010 2:17 pm

    like what you did with the mataphors Carolee…metaphors for me are hard to do at times…anyways thanks for this…and as usual nicely done

    • April 8, 2010 7:26 pm

      metaphors are hard for me, too, if i think about them as a project. they develop naturally in pieces sometimes, though. this is not one of those instances. 🙂

  4. April 8, 2010 4:44 pm

    most enjoyable meal repairable repartee

  5. April 8, 2010 6:03 pm

    This is really great. I love it

  6. April 8, 2010 6:17 pm

    Love the bit about the mashed potatoes! (and the sticky boy).
    You’ve got a lovely way with words.

  7. joannejohns permalink
    April 8, 2010 6:24 pm

    Love it! I can just see you covered in mashed potato with Cupid over your knee, ready for a smack 🙂

  8. Richelle permalink
    April 8, 2010 6:27 pm

    I like how you begin this, it’s very catching. Great details, great poem!

  9. Irene permalink
    April 8, 2010 6:59 pm

    Shout out loud good. Stupid Cupid, grimy boy hit me smear me hit me in the eye.

  10. April 8, 2010 8:16 pm

    I’m smitten by the collisions going on here: mythology, hospitality job, lies told in love. Got me looking forward to more!

  11. April 9, 2010 5:17 am

    Really really good. Is this what they call a curve ball? Your word-weaving keeps surprising me. Thanks a lot Carolee.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: