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november poem-a-day, day 6

November 6, 2010

I am still chugging away at the Poetic Asides Poem-A-Day Challenge. The prompt for today is to write a poem with the title “looking for ____.”

Last night I met Deb in a part of Portland I hadn’t explored yet, and I loved the name of the place she chose. When I saw the prompt for today, I knew I wanted to write about looking for an actual place. I thought it might help me avoid pontificating too much about life or love. Fat chance, right? But I do think the name of the place deserves to be in a poem.

REMOVED FOR EDITING.

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Poor Deb. She is going to read this and say, “That’s not how the evening went at all!”

Here is what I did (which is often what I do): I took some real bits of the evening and added some elements from my fantasy life.

There are only two things I will reveal: our waitress really was named (birth name!) Tiger, although she does not work at the Teardrop (she works at our second stop of the evening — we drank and chatted for 5 hours!) and, sorry to disappoint you, but Deb and I did not kiss.

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4 Comments
  1. November 6, 2010 2:26 pm

    I love your use of anaphora here, which I think is rare in your poetry. I suggest you drop the last line, leaving “what I want to say” open. (such a hippy town where girls are named Tiger!)

  2. November 7, 2010 11:34 am

    Love the idea of finding this new real place of your poem, and your mix of actual and fantasy.

    I chuckled at the “Deb will” parts and the last line of your editorial comments. 🙂

    Five hours? I guess it was.

  3. November 7, 2010 11:55 am

    I love the detail in this and sense of loneliness amidst a crowd. Reminds me of the scene in “The Apartment” where Shirley McClain’s character meets her lover at the Chinese restaurant.

    BTW, I used your line “When there are flames in the forest” in my poem, and would love to read the poem it came from.

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