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november poem-a-day, day 20

November 20, 2010

Another end-of-the-day attempt! Stop the madness!

I didn’t manage to be inspired by the prompt (write a “right or wrong” poem), but since I hadn’t done a cascade poem yet (a recent prompt from Big Tent Poetry), I decided to give that a try.

Though I like the tide being “lost in her own thoughts” and doing “seaweed laundry,” this one loses steam (and most of its originality) after the second stanza. If I revise it, I’d like to bring some new images in.

REMOVED FOR EDITING.

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5 Comments
  1. November 21, 2010 1:00 am

    There are some lovely images here – if you don’t like it as it is, I think it would be well worth the revision. (I’m just revising some two year old poems of my own, it’s amazing how much of a fresh perspective two years lends)

    • November 21, 2010 11:59 am

      Agree. The rolling form does fit the tide. Hope that stays in the revision. 🙂

  2. November 21, 2010 11:51 am

    like the musings of a mermaid

  3. November 21, 2010 1:58 pm

    A wonderfully visual and vibrant use of the cascade form as well as the beauty of The She make this a stunning read…

  4. November 22, 2010 12:50 am

    Lovely rhythm like the rolling of the waves and beautiful imagery.
    Liked this one!

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