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enough! (a poem for big tent poetry)

December 3, 2010

The last little bit of this poem came to me just now as I was typing up the little bits of poem I’d been receiving at night while I’ve been struggling to sleep. One of the lines I did not choose to include — though it is the one relevant to the Big Tent Poetry prompt this week — is “I have always had enough tears.” It’s not really an “enough” poem without that line, but the poem is better without it.

REMOVED FOR EDITING.

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Go here see what the other circus-goers are writing this week!

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19 Comments
  1. December 3, 2010 8:56 am

    as i’m reading what i just posted, i already have ideas for revision. i’d like to delete the whole last stanza (i’ve been saying that a lot lately) and write the rest of the poem in a similar fashion as the first stanza, without the direct address, “love, …” i think it would benefit from being a love letter that’s not really a letter, especially since it insists in the title it’s a love letter. i don’t think it should actually be one. šŸ™‚

  2. December 3, 2010 9:38 am

    Carolee – you must always follow your instincts. I know that editing, for me, is almost envariably cutting stuff out. Personally, I wouldn’t change a thing in your poem!
    ViV

  3. December 3, 2010 11:59 am

    I tend to think that it’s already perfect, too, but I know better than to second-guess your poemer šŸ™‚

  4. December 3, 2010 12:46 pm

    Carolee,
    A beautiful piece.
    Pamela

  5. December 3, 2010 1:27 pm

    I don’t know. I do like the turn, but I can see a poem of irony as stronger.

    Maybe make another poem from the last two lines, but don’t toss them altogether.

  6. December 3, 2010 3:06 pm

    I like the journey, from letter to reality. At least, that’s the way I read it. Enjoyable!

  7. December 3, 2010 4:08 pm

    Don’t cut out – it holds itself together without being over-emotional – just right.

  8. December 3, 2010 5:57 pm

    I’d suggest simply removing the second stanza. The preceding one stands strong and clear as it is. In fact, when I read it first I stopped at the first with a sense of satisfying completeness, assuming the italicised second stanza to be a separate piece.

  9. December 3, 2010 7:14 pm

    Carolee, it is your poem, but I join with those who say they wouldn’t eliminate the last stanza. I liked that part of the poem very much. If you decide to throw these lines out, do use them in another poem. Strong writing!

  10. December 3, 2010 8:36 pm

    I like the first stanza and think it stands alone. There is definitely a conclusion there and nothing need be added. The second stanza might very well be another poem.

    Elizabeth

  11. December 3, 2010 10:50 pm

    Change it , or not? I’m not sure – I do hope those last two lines make their way into another poem if you drop them.
    I’m all for poems inspired by prompts that end up not being about the prompt. A prompt is a way to get started, but if you end up somewhere else, why not?

  12. December 3, 2010 11:56 pm

    I’m in the “drop the second stanza” camp. But also trust your revision process.

    I adore the verb “trained” — so strong, so pointed. Wonderfully used in your poem, first line.

  13. December 4, 2010 12:20 am

    its very good the way it is….nicely done

  14. December 4, 2010 1:50 am

    Oh, I like this. And I do see the first stanza as a strong stand alone.

  15. December 4, 2010 10:46 am

    Each stanza works alone and is cohesive too..

    astral music

  16. December 5, 2010 8:23 am

    I love this poem just the way it is!

  17. December 5, 2010 2:01 pm

    “The one who knows not to change the course of the river”. So beautiful…
    I loved this piece!

  18. December 6, 2010 11:18 am

    Both poems stand by themselves.

  19. December 8, 2010 6:47 pm

    Carolee, I agree w/your proposed revision. I like the first stanza very much.

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