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brrrrr — another cold poem

December 5, 2010
tags:

REMOVED FOR EDITING.

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This one is taking on too many things at once (which results in some inconsistencies and jumps), but on first draft, I didn’t want to pare it down too much. That is likely the reason it’s a prose poem right now, too. Decisions about line breaks were distracting me, so I removed the obstacle for now. I like a lot of the images and plan on continuing to shape it. Certainly the title is temporary. “Salvage” may even be the exact opposite of the impression of the poem. Not sure. Not thinking in that direction quite yet. I will also have to decide if the restaurant setting is even necessary. If it is, I should mention it again near the end.

P.S. Dear Winter, No fair being so friggin’ cold without snow. Snow is my consolation prize. Bring some soon or don’t come back.

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2 Comments
  1. December 7, 2010 8:22 am

    Love the draft and reading about process. The line breaks you did choose are very effective–pulling me into the wineglass…snapping my heart in two.

  2. December 8, 2010 11:56 pm

    Glad you are keeping this, even if it gets reshaped.

    2nd para with snow and silence esp. effective. And the green cap.

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