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a river of stones, stone #20

January 20, 2011



Happy Birthday to Jack!

My pregnancy with him was treacherous — from early bleeding to nearly 4 months of bed rest, from experiencing traumatic world events to witnessing a man in a wheel chair dragged by a downtown bus 20 feet in front of me. And so there was a lot of noise in my head, and when he finally arrived after nine months of drama and a tumultuous couple of days in the birthing room, a hush came over me. It was peace like I’d never felt before (and haven’t since).

I don’t write much about mothering because it’s so loaded (and because it’s really hard to do well), but once in a while, I peek at it quickly.

And then run away.

  1. January 20, 2011 10:02 pm

    Big sigh…

  2. January 20, 2011 10:04 pm

    I should go back into my hermitage. Even my very focused view of the world is getting to seem so full (busy?).

    But your poems are so provocative Carolee. And I love that quality. What a scope of candle smoke you lay out in this poem today. Obvious enough the reach and precision here expressed. (And your commentary adds immeasurably to the meaning as well.) But I wonder this…

    Maybe we should welcome “loaded” expressions? Should we hide away from anything? And isn’t taking on the improbable/impossible challenge exactly what you have taught me about writing over these many months! I carry that notion, dearly close.

    Maybe this is just a birthday wish. Happy mothering!

    • January 21, 2011 9:15 am

      neil, you are absolutely right, of course. i’m normally not one to hide. and i do preach about taking on challenges. hmmmm ….

  3. January 20, 2011 10:18 pm

    This is so moving. Getting these thoughts and feelings out is a release. Thank you for sharing.

  4. January 20, 2011 10:32 pm

    Happy birthday, Jack!

    This is a wonderful stone — ripples out in all directions.

    • January 21, 2011 9:13 am

      thanks, dale! i am so glad it ripples like that. i do agree it packs a lot in a small space. 🙂

  5. January 20, 2011 11:57 pm

    Happy birthday, Jack!

    And to a mother whose honesty make her a fine woman, poet, mother and friend.

    • January 21, 2011 9:13 am

      thanks, deb! i am so glad you appreciate the honesty — you know how much trouble it gets me in! 🙂

  6. MKJ permalink
    January 21, 2011 9:07 am

    Dear Carolee, I have read your blog in silence many months – but want you to know that today you have brought me to tears. Please write more about your mothering. Your words today flow w/ grace, honesty and simplicity. You have such beautiful gifts – to be treasured in the bleak midwinter… and always. My wish for you (& for Jack) is that you may access the peace you speak about when you need it most.

    • January 21, 2011 9:12 am

      MK — i am so pleased you’ve been reading. your words are high praise. thank you. (and i hope to see you tomorrow!)

  7. January 21, 2011 11:14 am

    I adore this piece. Loaded with meaning, concisely shared.

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