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this mom goes back to work: the day before

February 27, 2011

The logistics that make this start date possible came too easily. I found this job too quickly. I am convinced I am Carrie, and it’s the prom. Day 1: Douse the foolish girl in pigs’ blood.

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I am delighted that the new company is a creative workspace with a “business casual” dress code. Though I know that jeans are OK, I don’t know exactly how everyone interprets it. I will need to get in there and see. Day 1: jeans that look like dress pants, black shirt with white dots, tan casual jacket, red shoes.

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It is frightening to think of meeting so many new people. The Marketing Company employs between 50 and 60, I think. And I will be the new girl. What if nobody likes me? And while we’re on the subject of doubt: What if I am terrible at the job? What if I don’t have any good ideas? Day 1: What if someone sees me hiding and sobbing under my desk?

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Since the kids have needed transportation to school in the mornings this year, I have changed my whole sleep schedule. I have been getting up earlier since September, and I am thinking of ways to make another change and get up even earlier so I can run three mornings a week and write two morning a week. However, I decided I won’t start any of that this week. It’s attempting too much change all at once. (See how reasonable I can be?) Day 1: Get the kids to school and myself to work. Period.

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I have been fending off one cold or another for about four weeks. And of course, today, I feel like a cold actually has me by the throat. And of course, I have a zit. And of course, I have lots of extra weight on right now. And of course all of it combines to make a terrible first impression. And of course this is exactly the positive attitude that will make me a productive professional in the world. Day 1: Fingers crossed for a good hair day.

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The weather could be dicey in the morning. Freezing rain. My friend called me as soon as it was in the forecast. She said, “I don’t want you to have stress on your first day. If there is a school delay or cancellation, I will take the kids.” Day 1: Blessed to have people who want me to succeed.

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7 Comments
  1. Margaret Bryant permalink
    February 27, 2011 10:01 am

    And of course. That paragraph is a great poem ….. enter line breaks.

  2. February 27, 2011 10:02 am

    Day 1: To keep laughter in the back of your head as you go in: Imagine yourself arriving doused in pig’s blood and the subsequent reaction.
    Day 1: The red shoes are key. The outfit sounds perfect – Stacey and Clinton on What Not to Wear would agree.
    Day 1: I had butterflies and stage fright every year on the first day of classes. Asked the same questions of myself about the new students I was about to meet. The stage fright is good; gives you an edge and that bit of adrenaline to carry you through.
    Day 1: Kids to school, you to work: exactly. The rest will come…remember: seasons. You can’t rush them.
    Day 1: Start the cold medicine now. If you have a sore throat, tonight have a hot rum toddy. Makeup does wonders [the zit is from tension; try hot water soaking].
    Day 1: Go get ’em. You have a giant support group. Carry us with you.
    Extra Day 1: Don’t forget to enjoy the first day. Force yourself to relax when you can [even for a few seconds]. Think of it as a new opportunity for poems 😀

  3. Margaret Bryant permalink
    February 27, 2011 10:03 am

    And of Course! This paragraph has the bones of a poem!

  4. February 27, 2011 10:48 am

    🙂

    And of course, you’ll be fabulous.

  5. February 27, 2011 12:26 pm

    Sounds about normal thoughts before a first day. (What an awful thing to say?) Remember, it is your very difference in attitude and experience that may well best serve both yourself and your new company. Deep breath. Relax.

    Much smarter man than me once said, even faith includes doubts. You’re fine. More than fine!

  6. February 27, 2011 12:28 pm

    Having the jitters is such a coy word 🙂 for those parading insecurities (so recognizable to us all!). I adore how you trot each one out, make it take a bow.

    You will be fabulous. You *are* fabulous.

  7. February 27, 2011 8:11 pm

    You will look great, you will be great. Break a leg! xo

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