Skip to content

napowrimo #1 or, birds of a feather

April 2, 2011

This is from the Big Tent Poetry prompt “write about feathers and stilettos (but no one can be wearing them).” I wrote it yesterday, but didn’t get a chance to post it. I decided to have emotional meltdown and went to bed before I posted, so you’re just going to have to trust me.

REMOVED FOR EDITING.

As you see, the feathers and stilettos got me into the poem, but I think when I revise, they’ll go, along with quite a bit of this. I don’t think it gets going until the last three stanzas.

And I have to confess there may be more energy for poems there. I know all the bad things about brothels and sex for hire. I know there’s a dark side, don’t get me wrong. But I’d be lying to you if I didn’t confess that there’s also something alluring about everyone knowing exactly what it’s all about. A transaction. It may be one of the most honest contexts for it.

You’ll find NaPoWriMo stuff all around. I’ll write a post about that later. And about what I intend to do for the month. But for now, I’ll link to this week’s Big Tent gathering where NaPoWriMo-ers and non-NaPoWriMo-ers are bringing their poems by just like every other weekend.

Advertisements
8 Comments
  1. April 2, 2011 9:22 am

    I trust you. And your instincts. Poetic for sure, and otherwise. I look forward to reading the revision as there are swell parts (lots of them) in here.

  2. April 2, 2011 10:53 am

    Gritty and compelling even in its present form.

    Mortified if offended, but for me this is the best I have read from you. And one of the things I love is that it’s a work in progress. It could go any which way. Raw, sweaty, unformed like the subject.

    Something I would like to add . . .

    The girls like to sleep.
    The girls like to fuck.
    ……..The girls have to sleep.
    The girls have to fuck.
    Truth is inconsistent,
    ………………………………….but what else is there?

    For me those lines make a strong, relevant and realistic poem in their own right begging many questions, answering but a few and only on your terms.

  3. April 2, 2011 11:52 am

    Wow, I missed this! There’s stuff that has to go, sure, but there’s a heavy-carat poem in here.

  4. April 2, 2011 3:12 pm

    I like. The first, especially. But also the last, with someone’s wife serving them breakfast in the afternoon.

  5. April 2, 2011 6:45 pm

    I like this, Carolee, the rawness of it is compelling.

    Pamela

  6. April 2, 2011 10:58 pm

    It rolls…loose and free…

  7. April 4, 2011 3:42 am

    I hate myself for this, but technically the birds were wearing the feathers.

  8. April 5, 2011 4:40 pm

    Whilst there may be places to go yet with this poem, as it is you get across powerfully and affectingly your contention ‘that there’s also something alluring about everyone knowing exactly what it’s all about. A transaction. It may be one of the most honest contexts for it’. As the saying is, this one’s got good legs!

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: