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napowrimo #5, or tentative about spring

April 5, 2011

So it’s my lunch break, but do not fear! I didn’t write this on my lunch. I drafted it this morning on my solo writing date. And please don’t get me wrong: I love Spring. But it hasn’t quite found us yet here in the Northeast. It is dreary and cold still, that eerie in-between place, and as the anniversary of my mom’s death approaches, I have gloom on my mind.

REMOVED FOR EDITING.

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As you can see, I didn’t quite know how to get myself out of the poem once I was in it. That last stanza will be the first target when I revise.

This poem started as an idea as I drove to the coffee shop this morning, and when I sat down to write it, I used the first of Kelli’s prompts (there is a link to her 30 prompts in the sidebar). My words were cruelties, April, daffodils, margins, entrance, varieties and one more? I can’t remember which one!

P.S. Please excuse any typos. I am going to eat instead of editing.

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3 Comments
  1. April 5, 2011 1:04 pm

    Oh, but there’s a whole, damn good poem here. Don’t revise too hard!

    • April 5, 2011 5:40 pm

      thanks! looking at it now, it’s more complete than i thought. i won’t do too much, but playing with the ending is still at the top of the list.

  2. April 5, 2011 9:35 pm

    Can you move the ending to the beginning? I know it’s stark, and possibly even marginally gratuitous, but I think it’d make such a striking opener. And what do you have against contractions, anyway? 😉

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