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napowrimo #6, or you put the “L” in la la la

April 5, 2011

The poem I drafted this morning while I was writing at Starbucks originally contained a stanza that I didn’t end up posting with the poem. Right away I could tell it belonged to something else. So I developed it here. Instead of eating cookies. Or banging my head on the table. Good choice on both accounts no matter how bad the poem is.

It plays with language in a way I’m sure other people have done already, but I’m putting it out there as another draft anyway.

REMOVED FOR EDITING.

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I am not sure the opening belongs with the rest of it. But I would like to write about that sometime. The license plate was exactly like mine except mine ends in a 4 and the truck’s ended in a 5. I’m not sure why it was so startling and moving (weird!) but it was. The rest of this is just play. And it is a work in progress. Of course.

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12 Comments
  1. April 5, 2011 9:20 pm

    I like the wordplay – I have an old poem called “Alone – A love” that plays with the same idea. And I think the license plate thing is definitely worth pursuing – it’s too strange to ignore!

    • April 5, 2011 9:26 pm

      oooh, i really like that “alone – a love” play! and i’m so pleased you think the license plate thing is interesting, too. usually, i am only intriguing to myself. ๐Ÿ™‚

      • April 5, 2011 9:30 pm

        I have that feeling sometimes, too – Good to know that I’m not the only one who perseverates on little observations like that!

  2. April 6, 2011 1:22 am

    Love this Carolee, brilliant!

  3. April 6, 2011 2:39 am

    The opening is vital to the “rest of it”.

    Good. Live with it then polish it, refine it.

    It needs percolation time, that’s all. Then your doubts will fade and the sun will come out.

  4. April 6, 2011 7:58 am

    Funny; I really enjoyed this but it did scare me a little…how one tiny slip of a letter can change entire meanings, entire lives.

  5. April 6, 2011 10:06 am

    Your poem is inspiring me…..

    I love that opening concept, actually…relating to a vehicle, feeling emotionally tied to a set of numbers or letters that are arbitrary…it’s so human.

  6. April 6, 2011 11:50 am

    My brother and I saw one of those as kids: a car that was the twin of our family vehicle, with a plate ending in “T” instead of “S”. It led to all kinds of stories of how there must have been a family inside that was the Bizarro version of ours… it’s curious where your mind takes you when those little uncanny moments stumble across your day.

    The darling/daring, strange/strangle, lover/over set seems the most powerful.

  7. April 7, 2011 12:22 am

    I like the play, and how we all (re: also Joseph) think of those parallel lives, the near misses, the train doors opening to the other-other.

    (Reminded me of Kelli’s word games in Letters… but this is richer in many ways. Not to say her poems aren’t very well done. These seem broader, which I really like.)

    • April 7, 2011 8:44 pm

      thanks, deb! i also love kelli’s word play. i think that hers is more thoughtful than i am capable of. isn’t it wonderful how we all have our own voices!!!

  8. April 7, 2011 8:39 pm

    Very cool. We are on the same page. ๐Ÿ™‚ Although you’re keeping up with the poem a day challenge better than I am.

    • April 7, 2011 8:43 pm

      you always do an amazing job with things. you always pull through when you need to!!

      i am not convinced tonight will yield a poem for me. i’m exhausted and think i have 30 minutes, maybe 45 minutes, left in me today. better buckle down!!

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