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Memorial Day weekend: How did this happen?

May 29, 2011

I.
Two weeks ago, I swear it was still winter. Around here, you could barely stand to go outside without a coat. And now, it has been 90 and humid for a few days in a row. We are flip-flops and air conditioning, and suddenly, it has been nearly a month since I posted here.

I have been doing most of my poeming over at A Kettle of Fine Fish with Deb and Jill. I have four drafts there right now (here’s the most recent one), and the good news is there’s something in each of them that is calling me back to revisit it.

In terms of putting pen to paper, four drafts since we started works out to a little more than one a week. It means, dear friends, I’m not writing as much as I’d like to be. I’ll get my momentum and energy back someday, right? Thank goodness for the excitement of how we’re riffing off each other. I like co-blogging as a platform for it — capturing the flow of ideas in a single strand of posts.

Some of the things that are draining my energy are not good things, but I can say without a doubt that work is a good thing. I’m learning a lot and finding the openings for my own experience and expertise. I am so glad I made the leap. And it was a leap. I might have minimized it. That’s what I do. But it was a leap. And well-worth it. Can you believe my 3-month performance review is Tuesday? Time: What a trickster!!

II.
And so now that there’s Kettle, what of this space? I have been thinking about that. I had no hesitation about Kettle as a place for poeming with my lovely lady friends. I knew I’d find a new stride here. I have some ideas but no plans. I’m just going to let it develop organically.

That’s something I’m trying in many areas of my life. The white-knuckling? Not working so well. I’m not very confident in my ability to change drastically, but where I can, I am enjoying an easier flow. One that is more about observing and noticing and allowing than it is about figuring out and having answers and Next Steps.

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6 Comments
  1. May 29, 2011 12:46 pm

    Congratulations on your upcoming 3-month review! And for admitting the leap. And for organics.

  2. May 30, 2011 5:12 pm

    This is my first visit to your site. I am impressed with the amount of energy you have in your writing and other avenues of art and taking on leadership of other sites where prompts are to be had. I saw a view of your studio and you quite remind me of an artist friend of mine…prolific. I work fulltime and have a passion for writing but only did prompts in March as it quite wore me out. You are young, of course, and as a grandmother not as energetic as I might have once been. I admire your tenacity. Look forward to seeing more of your writing i.e., poems and such.

  3. May 31, 2011 7:19 am

    Hi Carolee — I am so glad you made the leap too and that it is something you are loving. Oddly, that will take almost as much of your energy as the bad things in your life. I reached a point only a few years back where a combination of my work, which I loved, my life, which I did not, and age combined to make me poem dry for almost three years. It was as if I stopped looking at the world poetically.
    But it does come back. Truly. Even if it takes a while. I had to wait until I could feasibly retire and make us a one income family. It will help that you keep your hand in over at Kettle. Think of your poetic outlook as hibernating. It’s there. It will come back. In the meantime make voluminous notes of what you are noticing. I had a trove of material waiting when I came out of hibernation last year.
    margo

  4. May 31, 2011 12:27 pm

    Thanks, Deb!

  5. May 31, 2011 12:28 pm

    Hi, Renee! Welcome. 🙂

    And thanks for saying I have tenacity and energy. I do have both, though I am frequently frustrated with my inability to channel the energy in the direction I choose. But I know I am not alone. Thank you for reading.

  6. May 31, 2011 12:32 pm

    Margo — note-taking is great advice! And you are right that working takes lots of energy even when it’s enjoyable.

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