20
Nov
09

still mad at my muse

Forcing myself to write a poem today was a good thing, as it often is.

I lived for a few years in a little haven in a small field in the middle of a forest on top of a hill. We rented a house on the property where the landlord also lived in a historic house (1812) with a big barn and cute red chicken coup. Among their birds were varying numbers of peacocks. I’ve wanted to write some peacock poems ever since. They’re quite magical.

So today, because I’m working on the “mad at my muse” challenge, my first peacock poem is posted at “i am maureen.” Leave me a note here if you need the password.

20
Nov
09

lessons from early attempts at memorization

I was inspired to begin memorizing poems after attending a Dorianne Laux workshop at Tin House. I have made little progress.

However, one thing I have been working on this fall is recording myself reading other people’s poems. I took the time recently to add them to my I-tunes library and put them on my I-pod. I listened yesterday for the first time, and I noticed right away two big mistakes I’m making in reading out loud.

First, my voice trails off at the end of the line or when it nears a normal pause in the syntax of the poem. Sometimes it’s dramatic enough to make the words inaudible. And second, I’m not enunciating as well as I thought I was. This is one of those strange public speaking things we forget when we’re reading poetry: it feels awkward to enunciate but it doesn’t look as strange as it feels. And it’s so helpful to the audience.

Interesting. I bet I’ve been making the same mistakes at open mics reading my own work.

Even though I don’t have anything memorized yet, I’m working on it. I’m going to tackle one line at a time. Get it down. Add the next line. And in the process, I’m pleased to have learned an early lesson about reading out loud, and I’m reminded how wonderful it is to hear poetry around me more often.

19
Nov
09

frustration and determination

Grrrr! And gah! My muse is being elusive. It happens for various reasons. You know I don’t believe in writers’ block. You put in the time or you don’t. And I haven’t been.

But I’m tired of letting life stuff prevent me from putting in the time. So I’m back. Let the wild rumpus start! I’m challenging myself to a poem-a-day for the next … well, the foreseeable future.

It’s worked before to draw me out (and not just in terms of the poems), and it’ll work again.

Poem #1 of the “Mad at my muse” challenge is posted at “i am maureen.” Warning: It’s a sentimental little ditty that I just realized could be a companion piece to the Dixie Chicks’ “Cowboy Take Me Away.” Argh. Well? It’s something. Another something. Here we go!

16
Nov
09

a revision for the first makeover monday

A new poem, the result of using a revision strategy from the new Read Write Poem group “Revisionaries,” is up at “i am maureen.” (Leave a comment here if you need the password.)

We’re revising every Monday. Join us when you can!

15
Nov
09

it’s something, at least

Here we go. Trying to loosen up those poetry muscles. Something new posted at “i am maureen.” Leave a comment here if you’re new around here and need the password!

15
Nov
09

random bits of joy for your sunday

Something I think is really cool: this request for help from qarrtsiluni. Ever wonder what goes into editors’ decisions on Pushcart Prizes? Join the discussion and make suggestions.

* ** *

I tell the boys this: You’re only getting a tiny bit of syrup. Ration it. You don’t need syrup on every bite of waffle.

Davin, The Philosopher Boy, says: There is no waffle without syrup.

When I argue, he insists: Nothing exists without syrup.

* ** *

I started a new group at Read Write Poem called “Revisionaries.” On Mondays, I’ll post a revision strategy and poets will have the chance to post “before” and “after” versions of their poems. Please join us when you can. If you’re like me, the poems that aren’t quite there collect dust, even though they may have potential for new life.

* ** *

I spent yesterday afternoon and evening in Pittsfield, Massachusetts, with Jill (there’s a candid shot of our happy faces at Facebook). She had been invited to read with a group of poets published in Naugatuck River Review. It was a proud writing buddy moment: she was so poised and warm in her reading, which is not a surprise, but is always so wonderful to see.

We went to dinner afterward at Mission Bar and Tapas with a small group of poets, including Marie-Elizabeth Mali (who is, coincidentally, organizing the Denise Duhamel workshop we’ll be attending in a few weeks), Taylor Mali, Will Nixon, Tommy Twilite and Lori DesRosiers (the editor of Naugatuck). The owner of the restaurant, a friend of the Mali’s, is organizer of Pittsfield’s WordxWord festival.

* ** *

Oh, Zumba, my love! It’s amazing what this pseudo-dance cardio craziness is doing for me. I’ve been doing it for a year or so pretty regularly, and I started because, as far as sweaty-get-your-heart-rate-up exercise, it’s very simply one of the most entertaining and joyful options. But it’s having other side effects, like the curious notion of enjoying my body.

Many of you know I’m extremely critical of and dissatisfied with my body and its shape and its, um, abundance. I have terrible body image issues and possess awkwardness and self-consciousness that feels, to me, like a huge obstacle. Something is happening at Zumba, however. I’m not just enjoying the physical sensation of the movement and the level of fitness I’m maintaining. I’m also enjoying how I look when I dance.

It sounds like a small thing, but it’s monumental. Yes, I have those moments facing the mirrors in the gym where I panic, recognizing my grandmother’s arms, lamenting the extra flesh around my middle, worrying that the jiggle in the booty is over the top. And yes, these moments are devastating. But they are also, miraculously, fleeting. Something comes next. A “holy moly, girl, you can shake it!” Or a “hit it!” Or a — any Pretty Woman fans out there? — “work it! work it! work it!”

There is something wonderful about Zumba, an attitude that works for me. If you’ve got it, flaunt it. If it’s yours, shake it. And you know what? A curvy figure makes some moves all the more powerful.

In a couple weeks, I’m getting certified to teach Zumba. I can only hope my students agree. We’re often used to the aerobics instructor being the tiniest thing in the room. That’s not me. But maybe they’ll forget about that and try to bring it like I bring it. It’s a great message, not “if she can do it, I can do it,” but “I want that joy and I’m going for it.”

I’m going for it, baby.

* ** *

Some day soon, I’m thinking about writing a poem. No pressure.

* ** *

That’s a lie. I’m freaking out, of course, because I haven’t been writing. But I’ve been thinking about it.

12
Nov
09

ouroboros review issue four is ready!

ouroboros-four

Go see Issue Four!

Contributors are Arlene Ang, Krista Benjamin, Julie Bloemeke, Ashley Bovan, Iain Britton, Graham Burchell, Daniel Casey, Annie Clarkson, Barbara Crooker, J.P. Dancing Bear, Kelly Davio, Janann Dawkins, Jennifer Delaney, Andrew Demcak, William Doreski, Susan Millar Dumars, Jéanpaul Ferro, Ken Fifer, Gerry Galvin, Amaris Gutierrez-Ray, Aideen Henry, Dick Jones, Collin Kelley, Tammy Ho Lai-ming, Sophie Mayer, Michelle McGrane, Matt Merritt, Corey Mesler, Scott Owens, Louisa Adjoa Parker, Luca Penne, Elizabeth Polkinghorn, Laura Sobbot Ross, Jenny Sadre-Orafai, Julie Sampson, Deb Scott, Dr Ehuda Sela, Laura Solomon, John Walsh, Cecelia Woloch.

My partners-in-crime at the magazine are Jo Hemmant and Jill Crammond Wickham. Many thanks to Jo for bringing Jill and me to the journal. We’re very proud to have the chance to work on such a wonderful publication!

10
Nov
09

the confusion that reigns on deck

mister-skylight

The beauty of agreeing to review work by an author that’s new to you is the surprise, the opportunity to read a collection you may not have picked on your own.

As a poetry consumer, I confess I gravitate toward a particular kind of verse. Often, I seek out poems that are accessible to me because of what I already know and what I already know I like. It’s a dangerous habit if you’re interested in stretching yourself creatively. If you want to challenge yourself as a writer (and I do), you have to challenge yourself as a reader.

Be prepared. All the usual egos will show up with questions: What does this have to do with me? When is the poem going to connect with me? Where is my entry point into this work? And when a book doesn’t offer up answers upon command, the discomfort can be powerful enough to convince the hands to put it down. Laziness is a skilled enough vice it even assuages the conscience: You can come back to it later, it says.

This describes my early relationship with Ed Skoog’s debut collection Mister Skylight. Pick it up. Fail to find my usual bearings. Put it down. Pick it up. Recognize nothing. Put it down. Repeat.

I am so determined to uncover a path into the work, however, that I question — and then abandon — the guideposts on which I’d been relying. And so eventually I enter Mister Skylight as I should have from the first: open to seeing what it wants to show me.*

MY EXPERIENCE OF MISTER SKYLIGHT

What “Mister Skylight” wants to show me is that poetry can be elusive and (dare I say?) confusing as a means of illumination.

Ed Skoog purposefully blindfolds us, spins us around and dares us to find a target. He wants us to be unbalanced in our interaction with the work; he wants our experience to be unsettling, for the writing to “arrive like a hostage, an ear, a finger in the mail” (from “Party at the Dump”). In other words, Dear Reader, you never know what’s coming. Don’t expect to look around and know where you are.

Once we are into the work, we identify the hints he has dropped. In “Canzoniere for Late July,” “all the songs danced to are turned/ unrecognizable,” and it is

as if a thread
of pleasure’s been dropped, the looping thread
I’d need to navigate the maze turned
to the map all travelers have to oblivion,
as if guidebooks could rescue …

Skoog gives us more proof that navigating will be difficult in “Mister Skylight” when our narrator says, “I rudder my continent, which I’m still learning” and declares outright that disarray is his “precise pouch.” Even the punctuation of the collection, the final lines of the last poem “Postscript: Autobiographical,” reinforces how the narrator has been leading us: “And when I drowned,” he says, “I sank slowly and meant every fathom.”

Manufacturing obscurity (what’s difficult to understand) is the perfect device for a collection of poems that uses a code word for disaster as its title. (“Mister Skylight” is a signal the captain uses to alert his crew about an emergency without alarming the passengers.) In times of disaster and tragedy, chaos and confusion dominate. There is no clarity. There are flashes of recognition but nothing to hold them together.

When I say the experience of reading “Mister Skylight” mimics some of the sensations of experiencing disaster, I mean the collection is a success. Amidst devastation (which Skoog is careful not to limit to “Titanic” or “Katrina”), we can’t know what everything means.

The experience of danger is chaos, is fragments, is shards of color in the kaleidoscope, churning, light in one end, pigments confusing the eye at the other end. We recover random and unexpected bits of our lives (a door, a scarf, a melody) after a shipwreck, after destruction of a city, and Skoog tells stories with these pieces, with what remains. They may not be the narratives we predicted our lives would follow; they are, however, assembled skillfully around a new reality. We make an odd new life with what we find.

HOW WE KNOW WE’RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE

Skoog’s narrator shows us the oddities and abstractions inherent in the world of the poems. In “Recent Changes at Canter’s Deli” the narrator is direct: “Nothing is where it was.” The entire poem details how everything is a bit “off” now. The other poems show it, as well. In “Early Kansas Impressionists” he places “new condos at belief’s edge” and makes snow angels with a deceased mother: “mine a mimicry of myself/ hers a rectangle silence.”

Many times, Skoog plays with language in order depict situations as upside-down or backwards, when actually they are as they have always been. In “Punks Not Dead,” cars “shrink toward destination,” for example, and in “Mister Skylight” –

I switch the darkness off,
disturbing a triangle moth who,

thinking perhaps that night
has moved into my black T-shirt

flutters toward me and clings.

More subtly, Skoog takes away our bearings by refusing to allow us our regular assumptions. For instance, there is a dramatic difference between how we typically think of “moon” and “sun” in poetry — light, beauty, comfort, consistency, etc. — and how they actually appear in the collection.

“Party at the Dump” says, “The moon rises over the abandoned town/ like cutlery on the high shelf,” and “Sunset ripens and ruptures.” It also references “the moon’s IV drip.” Cutlery! Ruptures! IV drip! These are not your mama’s metaphors for sun and moon! All is not well.

There is a “skeleton cloud in moonlight” in “Help in Seven Languages Written on the Skeleton Coast.” “Canzoniere” argues that “it never ends, night, the way the sun has to break it;” dawn delivers “harsh scenery” and “offers up loneliness.” In “Mister Skylight” the moon “offers its offensive and ridiculous bulge,” and “sunlight has so little tenure.” In “Memory Loss,” the “sun limps” and later, a whale beaches itself in “estuary moonlight:”

the whale
wanders and now the broken study
of its organs accuses no one
from underneath some towels.
This is what we have to work with.

Skoog’s infusion of sun and moon imagery that is askance from the norm is a great example of how the collection works right down to its bones, how every detail works to support the story and the tone with which it is told.

HOW WE KNOW IT’S PART OF THE PLAN

We believe the author and his narrator are ducking and hiding from us intentionally because we otherwise see that they have chosen each word with intention, and we appreciate the careful noticing. In “Inland Empire,” the narrator tells us,

It’s 11:11, time
to make my daily wish,
catch the stilt legs of those
two birds who land twice
a day inside the clock.

and in “Like Night Catching Jackrabbits in Its Barbed Wire,” he reports, “My wife pours orange juice into a green glass/ beside black crumbs of birthday cake.”

Even the structure of the collection (and the form various pieces take) confirms how methodical the poet is in delivering his tale. For example, two of the more interesting aspects of the collection are the long poems “Canzoniere of Late July” and the title piece “Mister Skylight;” the poems are 10 pages and 19 pages, respectively. The two pieces even share at least one line: “This is it, spaceman: life on Earth.”

“Canzoniere” is comprised of 12-line stanzas (except the final stanza). Its end-words repeat in an intricate pattern set by the first stanza. There are five end-words in each stanza, and there are five sets of end words. Each set of end-words repeats five times, creating 25 interlocking stanzas. The final stanza, number 26, is 24 lines long, using all but one of the 25 end-words according to a specific pattern. The end-word not repeated in the final stanza is “unexpected.”

“Mister Skylight” is a 19-page poem that wouldn’t tell me how it decided to use page breaks as a device in the same way the poet uses line breaks and stanza breaks. Skoog doesn’t necessarily fill a page with lines before breaking onto the next one, although each begins with a shift in the subject matter. Each page could be its own poem or section but is, instead, a continuation of the longer poem, separated by no heading or title, marked only by the start of a fresh page.

Both “Canzoniere” and “Mister Skylight” illustrate how meticulous Skoog has been in writing and compiling the work. His architecture is evident in these pieces, but the complexity exists just as much in the others.

HOW THE EXPERIENCE TRAINS US TO PLAY ALONG

The initial difficulty I had accessing the writing (the combination of my own resistance and the obstacles set up by the author) lead me to feel truly joyful when I connected with a particular line or group of lines. Just as survivors may sort through rubble and become exuberant when they salvage something, I became delighted, as a reader, when I found bright spots within the text.

Even in devastation there is beauty; says the narrator in “Canzoniere,” “You billowed in clouds instead of a dress,/ but no hurricane warning is fierce as your dress.” Even in despair, there is opportunity for frivolity; the narrator in “Party at the Dump” plays “masking-tape tic-tac-toe” on a window. In hardship, there is tenderness scattered about, the narrator “wanting to tell the woman who left hours ago/ that her scarf still lies across the bench” in “Punks Not Dead.”

And there is hope. In the title piece, the narrator’s father tells a story about how he and his pregnant wife (the narrator’s mother) survive a car crash:

He is still surprised, each moment, how
they rose and dusted themselves off,

and, feeling the baby kick, and, the tires
having landed right, just drove home.

The title of this blog post — “the confusion that reigns on deck” — is a line from the poem “Canzoniera of Late July.” Ed Skoog’s “Mister Skylight” is available from Copper Canyon Press.

The review is part of the Read Write Poem’s Virtual Book Tour. Be sure to visit Mister Skylight’s prior stops on the tour — DaveJarecki.com, Exhaust Fumes & French Fries (Nathan Moore) and jillypoet (Jill Crammond Wickham) — and make a note of its next appearances: Book of Kells (Kelli Russell Agodon) and The Rain in My Purse (Sarah J. Sloat).

*It is, of course, the kind of presence that can benefit every encounter with a poem; sadly, we get distracted from it sometimes.

07
Nov
09

what do you call a space poem?

a uni-verse.

05
Nov
09

a new poetry mini-challenge: yikes!

I am struggling to write, and I know why. The poem that’s on my mind won’t come out. Normally, I could skip over it, but right now, the trouble is that it’s mucking up the works. Clogging the pipes.

Here’s what has happened: a hunter has found a skull in a local forest. It belongs to a girl who “went missing” in 2003. It is the second skull found in that forest in two years. The first one was found by a hunter, as well. I can’t stop thinking about those girls. And the yet-to-be-found killer. I can’t stop imagining what they must have endured.

I tend to get obsessed with the stories of missing girls (and boys). I do have one poem about it (“The men we don’t think we know,” or something) from the time when the little girl was missing in Florida a while back (Caylee Anthony). In that particular case, the mother was alleged to be involved, but I wrote the poem before that was known. In many cases, of course, a pedophile is to blame.

And while the tragedies make me so angry, my primary response is fear. Even though I am a woman in my late 30’s, not likely to be anyone’s victim, I jump into those girls’ shoes, and it breaks me every time.

I think the writing solution is to write the poem I’m afraid to write, but there’s no quick solution for that. It certainly won’t fit into the time frame of the current November Poetry Mini-Challenge at Read Write Poem. I missed Tuesday’s launch of the challenge. This isn’t the greatest news, since I’m one of the co-authors of the challenge.

In addition to being a bit lost in the forest with those poor girls, I have an October hangover of some sort. The month was a whirlwind, and I can’t quite get my feet back under me. The house is a disaster. I’m feeling cruddy physically. I’m pushing myself (instead of resting), trying to get started as a Zumba instructor and keeping up with my running habit. I’m missing deadlines. I’m procrastinating. I’m not writing.

I will sort it all out, for sure. Right now, I’m doing what I can to help Jo and Jill get out the forthcoming edition of Ouroboros and beginning to work on a book review that’s due in a few days. The poems will come. They always do. But I may miss the current challenge.




What I would say if I knew how

Stuff I've found that resonates, deeply
(a scrolling list of beautiful things)

Solvent, a poem by Dale Favier

Autopsy, a poem by Jill Crammond Wickham

On Failure (a youtube video I found via Book of Kells)

Speechless, a poem by Dave Bonta

Twitter Updates

  • we have too few like these - sunny, cool versions of 60-something days and chilly 40-degree nights - but they are my favorite kind of days.----->1 month ago
  • out goes a revised manuscript! some day i'll tend to my individual poems again. poor things.----->1 month ago
  • @morningporch that sounds like a poor translation of another language into english.----->2 months ago

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